A lot has been said and written about breastfeeding and its importance. We hear about bonding, immunity, and nutrition. What we don’t hear enough about is the stress, the exhaustion, and sometimes the pain that comes with it. Rarely are women mentally prepared for what breastfeeding truly entails.

Breastfeeding is a choice—and a natural one—since the female body is biologically designed to nourish a newborn this way. However, there are many valid reasons why a woman may not be able to breastfeed, and there should be absolutely no shame attached to that. Every mother’s journey is different. This piece is not meant to pressure anyone, but rather to share my personal experience and offer practical tips that may make the decision, and the journey, a little easier.

For me, breastfeeding was not a smooth, instinctive process. It was a learning curve filled with self-doubt, fatigue, and moments of panic. Breastfeeding is largely about positioning. It begins with latching—getting the baby to latch correctly so they can suck effectively and stimulate milk flow. Once you get past that hurdle, a new worry creeps in: Am I producing enough milk? Then comes the baby’s constant need to feed, followed by sleepless nights that blur into one another.

With my first child, I remember feeling constantly anxious. There is a lot of emphasis placed on a newborn’s weight—how babies can lose up to 10% of their birth weight in the first few days but should regain it within a specific period. When my baby had not returned to their birth weight as expected, I had midwife visits every two days for weigh-ins. While these visits were meant to be supportive, they made me increasingly anxious and physically exhausted.

Eventually, we found our rhythm. Feeding improved, weight gain stabilized, and just when I thought I had overcome the biggest hurdle, the sleepless nights truly began. Waking up two to three times every night to breastfeed took its toll. Over time, I developed coping strategies that helped me stay grounded and continue.

Here are some of the strategies that helped me:

1. Make a firm decision and commit to it

You have to make up your mind that you understand the benefits of breastfeeding and that you are choosing it intentionally. This mental commitment becomes incredibly important on the hard days. When exhaustion, pain, and doubt set in, reminding yourself why you chose this path can help you push through—or reassess with clarity, not guilt.

2. Keep entertainment within reach

In the early days, one of my biggest fears was accidentally dropping my baby due to extreme tiredness. To combat this, I kept my phone and remote close by. Netflix became my quiet companion. My routine was simple: select a movie before going to bed, baby cries, press play, pick up baby, and breastfeed. It kept me awake, calm, and less alone during those long nights.

3. Lean on people who understand your goal

Support is everything. My neighbor happened to be a doctor specializing in child nutrition. On days when fatigue clouded my judgment and I questioned myself, her reassurance helped me stay the course. Surround yourself with people who understand your goals and won’t dismiss your struggles.

4. Don’t dismiss traditional wisdom entirely

I leaned into some of my mother’s “old wives’ tales,” especially around diet. She encouraged me to eat certain local foods during pregnancy and breastfeeding that she believed helped with milk production. These included different types of pap made from finger millet, fonio, groundnuts, rice, and tamarind. I never experienced issues with milk supply, so perhaps there is some truth in that wisdom after all.

5. Take care of your nutrition

Breastfeeding makes you very hungry. Your body is working overtime. Eating a healthy, balanced diet is essential—whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, dairy foods, and continuing with prenatal or postnatal vitamins. Nourishing yourself is not optional; it is part of caring for your baby.

Common Problems for Nursing Mothers

Despite preparation, challenges are common. Knowing what to expect can make them less frightening.

Sore nipples

This is one of the most common issues. It is often said to result from poor latching, but even with a good latch, soreness can persist. I vividly remember lifting my leg in pain every time my baby latched, while they fed completely unaware of my discomfort. Their instinct to survive was the cause of my pain, and removing them for relief often resulted in tears—from both of us. My best advice: apply nipple cream generously and consistently.

Blocked ducts and Mastitis

Blocked milk ducts can feel like small lumps in the breast. If left untreated, they can develop into mastitis, a painful infection. Causes include tight bras, improper latching, or breasts not being fully emptied. Warm compresses before and between feeds can help. Feed frequently, encourage milk flow, and express milk (with a breast pump) if your baby is unwilling to feed.

Thrush

Thrush is a fungal infection that affects both mother and baby. Symptoms include red nipples with white patches, and babies may develop white patches in their mouths. Treatment must involve both mother and child. Since thrush thrives in warm, damp environments, always wear clean bras and breast pads, keep nipples dry after feeding, and maintain good hand hygiene. Eating bio-active yogurt may help restore healthy bacteria in the body.

Engorgement

Breast engorgement happens when the breasts become overly full, hard, and swollen—usually when baby goes too long between feeds. Frequent feeding and expressing milk when baby is sleeping or unwilling can help prevent this uncomfortable condition.

Conclusion

Breastfeeding can be enjoyable, relaxing, and deeply bonding. However, getting to that point often requires patience, awareness, and support. By understanding the common challenges and preparing for them, you give yourself a better chance to experience the rewarding side of this journey—on your own terms, and with kindness toward yourself.

Want to share your breastfeeding story to support other moms? send to contact@janematta.com and we'll be happy to publish.